___ The online videos making their way around the networks these days show an encouraging trend. Girls who aren't yet old enough to outgrow playing with toys are outgrowing silence and shame. They're speaking up and being heard. They are, as they say, going viral. People are listening.

One video that was especially popular during holiday time was this one of a little girl complaining about the way toys are marketed by gender. Sure, I can grow up and complain about Barbie's role in my life when I was a kid, but it's so much more refreshing to see this child speak up about it now, telling us that she deserves more as she lives through girlhood. When young people find the courage to say for themselves that they need something more, they deserve at least for us to take a moment to listen. 

And here’s a girl who says that all of us deserve better – this thirteen year old talks about slut shaming, what it is and why it’s hurtful. Her insightfulness blows me away.

And, of course, I gotta love little girls raising their voices through music. “My First Hardcore Song” is by Juliet, also known as the 8 year old who’s way more badass than I’ll ever be.

In a more disappointing example of a video gone viral, a Girl Scout named Taylor is using her voice to ask people to boycott Girl Scout cookies, in order to show opposition to the Girl Scouts’ decision to include a transgender child in their organization. I’m glad to see girls finding their voices, but it makes me cringe to hear such a voice putting down others. So instead, in this example I’m applauding Bobby Montoya, the transgender child brave enough to speak up for the chance to be where she feels she belongs. She’s opened the doors for a delicious way to make a difference – all we have to do is eat more cookies to show our support for an inclusive Girl Scouts organization. Sign me up! Also, check out Girl Scouts’ new Year of the Girl campaign.

Overall, I’m loving the presence of girl voices in viral videos these days. They’re not listening to any messages that tell them to grow up before they speak up, or to stay silent their whole lives. Sure, imagine a world full of women who raised these voices in girlhood. But before we fast forward, let’s stop and listen. The girls are speaking to us. Right now.

 

 

_As far as I know, I was pretty good at the whole sharing thing when I was a kid. Maybe it was because I'm a youngest child, always wanting some of whatever my big brother had. I understood how it could be enriching to let others have a piece of whatever good thing I'd stumbled upon.

I remember having some internal conflict when it came to sharing my favorite things, though. Sure, I could let go of a few crayons here, a piece of candy there - but would it really do any good to put one of my beloved model horses into the grubby hands of some kid who wouldn't even know how to appreciate it?

I'm learning to share again these days, only now it's sharing of a different kind. I'm learning the value of storytelling, of talking about my experiences so that others can take what they might need - say, the knowledge that they're not alone, or the insight that they might find their way through their own experiences.

And learning to share in this way is like learning to share my favorite toys, in some ways. Some parts of my story are easy to toss around, while there are other parts that I keep close to me like precious treasures, unsure if I can trust anyone else to hold them. There have been a few times over the past year when I've given these parts away and it didn't work out like I wanted. I was left feeling vulnerable, open in the worst way. With the pain of vulnerability biting at me, I scrambled to close myself up again, only to find that I'd opened some windows that refused to close again. Wind rushed through me.

The good thing about wind is that it carries the seeds of change.

Learning is a process, and a lot of it comes through experience, not instant knowledge. At CUAV's Wellness Wednesdays, we've been talking about the process that follows intuition. We go from feeling something, to making a choice based on our wants or needs, to reflecting on how that choice worked out. And it all leads to self-determination - creating our own path in life.

So here I am in the poet's corner, the reflection side of things. Looking out open windows and considering what kind of sharing has led me down the right path, and what's led me astray. Today is Wellness Wednesday at CUAV, a space where I've found that sharing with others can uplift those around me and help give me the perspective I need in my life. LGBTQ survivors of violence will come together today to share food, laughter and healing. Feel free to join us, anytime from 4-8 pm (see CUAV's website for details). How has sharing, either your own or someone else's, helped you on your path?


Keep knocking, and the joy inside
will eventually open a window
and look out to see who’s there.
-Rumi

_I've been taking a long break from the blog, as I attempt to get some life business in order. There are some things I've been able to control and put into place exactly as I'd like them. And for some other things, I've managed to do nothing more than realize I've got to give up control and let them happen as they will.

Do you ever deal with those, the uncontrollable factors? How have you dealt with them? I ask because I assume you have the answers. And maybe those answers aren't right for me, but surely you've figured out what works for your life.

We're constantly teetering around trying to find some sense of balance, and the balance I'm trying to find right now is between absorbing the wisdom from the brilliant minds around me and trusting that I know what's best for myself. For instance, recently I went to my winter residency for Pacific University's MFA program. I shared about my experiences there last June, and I'll soon share some of my insights from this trip, too.

Surrounded by faculty as accomplished as Marvin Bell, Kwame Dawes and Tayari Jones, I feel quite humbled. At times during the residency, my voice vanished, and I felt that all I could do was learn all I could by listening. 

But wait - what becomes of a writer without her voice? At some point, I had to realize that their wisdom was available to guide me, of course, but not to create my words. I have to do that part on my own. And creating my own art means trusting in my ability to do so.

At CUAV's Wellness Wednesdays, we've been talking about intuition, that feeling you get in your gut when you just know something. It's the feeling that makes you the expert in your own life. Some would say that creativity is inherently intuitive. And you could say a lot about the relationship between writing and intuition. If I write this way, I may come up with some work that feels pretty raw. But I took in some important lessons about revision at the winter residency, and it reminded me that I can always go back and take another look, make another draft. Always trusting that my voice can create the right words for my own blank page.