But the truth is the last thing on my mind when I'm in one of those moods that has me determined to be hard on myself. What good is reality, really, up against the power of the mind?
Like many others, I can be my own harshest critic. And sometimes I have to wonder why it can be so much easier to view my reality through a negative light than a positive one. If nothing else, it speaks to the power of the mind. It's as if my mind has the ability to create its own truth, as harsh as that truth may be.
So why should I confine my mind to putting a negative slant on things? In truth, the possibilities could be endless - if I can find a way to interpret every move I make as a failure, then I should be able to do the opposite. Sometimes your mind gets used to negativity, so that's where it goes first, but it doesn't always have to be that way.
And maybe it doesn't all have to fall into such categories, negative and positive. Maybe seeing life through the light of my own truth can just be that. The world from my perspective. Based on my passions, my goals. Who I am and the life I deserve.
That may not be the whole truth of things, of course. Just like the light of negativity ignores our triumphs, seeing the world as I envision it may mean looking beyond the obstacles. Seeing a place where I seem like an outsider as one with space to make it my own. Seeing my stories of struggle as the beginnings of my survival. The sparks of the words that now demand to be heard.
There are days when I can't seem to do anything wrong. Or at least that's how I'm trying to feel. Not because I'm flawless, but because there's nothing wrong with having experiences that help me learn and grow.
How would your vision of the world create safe spaces? Shine light on silenced stories?
Lauren Quock, Fabulous, 2011
Acrylic, glitter, collage on panel, 12 in x 9 in
Lauren and her fabulous artwork will help support the healing of queer and trans survivors of violence during the next couple of weeks. At CUAV's Wellness Wednesdays this week and next week, Lauren will facilitate an Art and Healing workshop, and we'll get to create our own bathroom signs based on our truths. I'm really looking forward to that.
I'm also really looking forward to this Thursday, February 23, when CUAV will have an open house and art show featuring Lauren Quock's Modified Bathroom Signs. There will also be food and music by Deejay Bootyklap, all in celebration of CUAV's work building healing and safety in LGBTQ communities. Visit CUAV's website or the Facebook event page for more details. And visit Lauren Quock's website for a preview of her work!